On Being a Mom

* I only have three pair of pants that fit me 6 months postpartum. My nursing bras don't really fit that well & are severely uncomfortable. My muffin top has become more of a cake top. Stretch marks cover more of my body than not. Three kids and four pregnancies have left their marks all over. Your genuine compliments of my appearance last me months. For real.

* I haven't slept an uninterrupted eight hours of sleep in who knows how long. Comments about looking tired, while they may be completely true, are not helpful. Rude comments heard on perpetually little sleep are not a good combo. On the outside, I'll probably laugh and agree, but inside I'm rolling my eyes and maybe even punching something. And while we're at it, comments like, "You've sure got your hands full" will result in the same inner reaction.

* I love offers for help. When I get over the initial, "crap, i'm doing soo poorly as a parent it's obvious I need help" thought, I really want your help! But don't assume you know what type of help is most helpful. A friend mentioned that she would rather get meals when she starts back to work after maternity leave, rather than the weeks following delivery. Who knew? Nobody. Cause they didn't ask. Please ask instead of assume, so that your help is truly the best use of your time and most beneficial.

* I want to hang out with my friends without kids (mine, theirs our both) present. I do. But sometimes, it's just so much stinking work. There's lining up a sitter if the hubby isn't available. Then there is picking up the house for the sitter, because my house is a disaster pretty much all the time. And yes, when you see it, that's what I call "clean". There's pumping and getting bottles ready. Thers's finding a cute enough outfit that hids the rolls and isn't a sweatshirt. There's actually having to care about my appearance. Sometimes, hanging out in sweats on the couch with ice cream after the kids have gone to bed is the best plan ever.

* My kids have a lot of crap. I love the thoughtfullness and generosity of friends and family who bring over random surprises for my kids, but at some point it has to be enough. Instead of material things, give them your time. Read them a book. Take them outside and play soccer. Go on a kid-date with them. Play a game. Have them help you with a project. I don't want to perpetuate a materialistic, entitled attitude in my children. If you do bring a goodie, make is a perishable, usable one. My dad brings a sucker for each kid almost every time he comes over. It's simple, it's appreciated, it's gone after a few minutes and doesn't take over my toyroom.

* I make mistakes. I'm not perfect. But please let me parent my own child. At McDonalds the other day, I was reminding Hope that she needed to eat all of her nuggets before she could have the coveted happy meal toy. There was a woman trying to talk with me, admiring my kids and trying to act like "grandma". She butted in and told Hope she just needed to take "a little nibble" instead of eat the whole thing. I'm sorry - who are you? And what gives you any authority over my kid? Let me do the parenting, please.

* I'm not a pinterest mom, and that's okay. While I love looking & pinning ideas, I don't really follow through on most of what I pin. I feed my kids junk sometimes. We buy valentines from the store. Birthday party decorations come from the Dollar Tree and the cakes from Sam's Club. We've been stuck in a "lets make cards with stamps and stickers" craft rut for about 2 years now. I bought almost everything to make resurrection eggs over 2 years ago & still haven't done them. Sometimes it's hard  not to feel bad about my lack of 'pinteresty' activities for and with my kids. But my life, my time, my kids, my ministry and my gifts are different from other moms. And it's okay.

* I love to talk about my kids. I'll tell you all about the latest adorable thing Hope said, or Isaac's latest accomplishment at school or how Geneva is starting to growl (seriously, she growls like a dog...no idea what's going on there). I'm also very happy to not talk about my kids. Engage me in converstaion about my dreams, my passions, my church, my community. Let me hear about yours, too. Inspire me with YOUR dreams and passions. Let's dream together, pray together, or just sit in silence. That's not something I get often. And it says something about our relationship if we can sit comfortably in silence together.

* Sometimes I don't know how to answer the question, "How many children do you have?". Four pregnancies. Three children. Somedays I don't even think about the one we lost. Other times I am reminded. I'm willing to talk about it. And I'm willing to listen. I know too many women in my life who have had 1, 2, or even 3 miscarraiges. I have friends who have carried littles ones they knew they would not have the chance to meet this side of heaven. I have friends who said hello and goodbye to babies way too early. I have friends who long with all of their heart to be pregnant, carry a little one, and be a mama. While sometimes I take my role as a mother for granted, or sometimes  complain, get overwhelmed or wish for a break, I really do understand the amazing gift of motherhood and the incredible blessing it is to be 'mommy' to Isaac, Hope, Geneva, and baby D.

These are some of my random thoughts after some friends and I had a book study this morning on the book, "Desperate" by Sarah Mae and Sally Clarkson. I'm sure I'll add to it as I have more time to think (and actually finish the book ;)

What are your thoughts on being a mom? I'd love to add some to the list.

Reformed Creeds & Confessions

We are starting a new unit in Inklings this week on Reformed Creeds and Confessions. I am excited to teach students about the history of these important standards of our faith, as well as help them see their relevance and use for our own faith formation - still in 2013! We are going to start out tomorrow morning with a little pop quiz, just so I can gauge what students already might know and what they do not. Want to take it? I thought you might. Here it is - a simple 10 question quiz. How did you do? Want to come sit in our class at Plymouth Heights to learn more with us?? You're welcome to!

I'll post answers after my students take it. :)

Reformed Creeds and Confessions

Inklings, March 3, 2013

POP QUIZ!

1. How many creeds has the CRC adopted?

               Name them:

2. How many confessions does the CRC hold to?

               Name them:

3. What do you think are the purposes of creeds and confessions?

 

4. What are the three main divisions in the Heidelberg Catechism?

 

5. In which confessional document would you find the five points of Calvinism, or TULIP?

 

6. What does TULIP stand for?

               T:

               U:

               L:

               I:

               P:

7. Which confession was written first?

 

8. Which creed is most widely accepted and used by Christians today?

 

9. Which creed addresses the doctrine of the Trinity most extensively?

 

10. What role do the Creeds and Confessions play in YOUR life and faith?

Genetics 101 - update (already!)

Many of you know we have been to see the geneticist several times now with Hope. She has a few possible indicators of some genetic disorders/abnormatlities. As the geneticist has said several times, there aren't enough indicators for it to for sure be something, but there are too many indicators for it to be nothing. Our latest appointment in October brought up having a spectrum array test done. It's a simple blood test (though over $1000 - so thankful for insurance that covers it!) that he thought might be helpful.

He has described genetics essentially as a book. Each person has a book. In that book are supposed to be 46 pages - a page for each chromosome. Each page has tons of words on it (genes). The test we had done is to see if all of Hope's 'pages' are there. We should get the results in another 2 - 3 weeks or so. The geneticist has told us that only 10 - 15% something is found. There are other, more in depth tests we could have done, but we will not pursue it further if nothing shows up on this one. We'll keep another appointment for April and likely have another scan done, and then not see him again for 1 - 2 years.

UPDATE: Crazy - seriously crazy. I posted this and not more than 5 minutes later, I got a call from the geneticist that the results were in & everything is NORMAL!!

Thoughts on Quimby

In my class, I had to reflect upon a life event. Thought I'd share it here, since so many of you followed our "Quimby saga". :) Just a snippet of what God taught me through it all.

In the fall of 2008, my husband Marc and I became landlords. We moved into the parsonage of the church where I worked, and we decided to rent out the house we had bought as a newly married couple.  The house was nothing special, but it was something we had carefully decorated, updated, cared for and held many special memories for us. When time came for a new lease and another month's rent, we discovered the woman on the lease was in jail, had others living there who didn't have rent money and the house was completely trashed. What followed included phones calls to lawyers, locksmiths, a dumpster to remove all the trash, gutting the kitchen, insurance claims, thousands of dollars that we certainly didn't have, every single free night and Saturday we had for about six months and asking help from family, friends, and our church.

As we filled the dumpster with loads of trash I kept asking how in the world people could live this way. How could she let her children color in permanent marker all over the walls and ceilings? How could she let other people live there who couldn't pay? Why were there eleven mattresses in a three bedroom house?  How could she let a leaky faucet ruin an entire kitchen and never correct the simple problem? How could she sell lawn mowers and other things out of the garage that didn't belong to her ? How could she allow drugs, alcohol, tobacco and pornography to exist in the same home as young children? How could she break doors, put huge holes in the walls, ruin all the carpet and wood floors and never think about the damage she was doing to us? How could she be so completely selfish, neglectful, filthy, ignorant, broken and utterly disgusting?

As Marc and I were the landlords of a simple, one hundred year old house, God is much more significantly the landlord of the earth, and the creator of all life.  He gave us the responsibility of caring for his world and one another.

Genesis 1:29-31 ²⁹ Then God said, “I give you every seed-bearing plant on the face of               the whole earth and every tree that has fruit with seed in it. They will be yours for food. ³⁰             And to all the beasts of the earth and all the birds in the sky and all the creatures that        move along the ground—everything that has the breath of life in it—I give every green plant for food.” And it was so.

³¹ God saw all that he had made, and it was very good. And there was evening, and there          was morning—the sixth day.

 We are God's people, yet we have acted and continue to act like the renters of our Quimby house. We are completely selfish, neglectful, filthy, ignorant, broken and utterly disgusting. Does God not have every right to ask us the questions I wanted to ask of my renter? How can we continue to live this way? How can we do so much damage to ourselves, others and the world and not think of the damage we do to our Lord? We have taken the good gifts of God and exchanged them for unworthy imitations.

“There is no one righteous, not even one;
¹¹ there is no one who understands;
there is no one who seeks God.
¹² All have turned away,
they have together become worthless;
there is no one who does good,
not even one.”

^{Romans 3:11 - 12}

It took longer than I care to admit for me to forgive my renter. The anguish she caused and my disgust at her lifestyle were overwhelming and I am not sure she has any idea what her actions did. It felt good to be furious with her. I needed a direction for my wrath and anger, and she was the natural recipient. In my mind, she deserved my judgment and unforgiveness.

God's wrath also needs a direction and we are the natural recipient. We deserve God's judgment and have no right to be forgiven, but instead he imputed the guilt of our sin to Christ, and we are declared righteous in his sight.

"But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:8

We all, like sheep, have gone astray,
each of us has turned to our own way;
and the Lord has laid on him
the iniquity of us all.  Isaiah 53:6

Our sin and brokenness is so much worse than a simple ruined kitchen and marker on a wall. God's wrath is much more severe than our anger as landlords of the ruined house. Yet, the awesome gift of God's grace is more than we can comprehend. His love for his people is deeper, wider, higher and more intense than we can fathom.

"Your love, Lord, reaches to the heavens,
your faithfulness to the skies." Psalm 36:5

I will not forget the feelings I experienced through the discovery of the trashed house, the rebuilding and restoration of it and finally the selling of it. It will serve as a reminder of the amazing reconciliation to God that has been offered to us through Christ. Praise be to God!

Izzy Fighter

http://fightingforizzyauction.wordpress.com/about/

This is a link to an online auction for friends of mine, Molly & Kendrick. Their 4 year old daughter, Izzy, is fighting stage 4 cancer. She's fighting for her life. They should be getting results tomorrow from a bunch of scans they did today to see how effective the chemo has been. Please pray for Izzy, Molly, Kendrick & older brother Carter. If you have a few dollars to spend or are looking for a gift for someone, head over to the auction & see what there is!