Jubilee

A few weeks ago, I saw a sight I never want to see again. It was something that I saw merely because of the brokenness of this world and the sin that entered way back in the garden. It was heart-wrenching, yet at the same time a demonstration of immense strength and faith that Jesus has poured out onto his people.

What was this tear-inducing sight? A strong and God-fearing father carrying his baby girls tiny casket out from her memorial service.

Some of you have followed along with my friend Brittany (Sprinkles & Wrinkles) as she has blogged through her experiences of the last few years. She and her husband endured a miscarriage last summer and earlier this month had to bury their daughter who was born into Jesus arms the beginning of May.

I've known Brittany since her senior year in high school, and TJ since they started dating. I sang in their wedding. I have watched their dating relationship blossom into marriage and then into beginning their family with a healthy little boy a few years ago. Brittany has always had a gift with words...her blog demonstrates her witty and articulate gift of expression. I am so grateful to her for sharing her and TJ's journey over these last few years. It's amazing that when I met Brittany, I was one of the youth pastors at Sunshine and she was in high school. I'm pretty sure her faith and life have done more for me in my own walk than I could've ever done for her. I truly mean that.

At the memorial service, TJ & Brittany had little cards out that people could write encouraging words and more particularly, how Jubilee has made an impact on their lives and heart. It was an easy thing for me to write.

The point in time beginning with Brittany's 20 week ultra sound when they discovered that Jubliee was sick until now has been the strongest I think my prayer life has ever been. Jubilee's little life has had me on my knees more than ever. Prior to Jubliee, my prayer life was so-so. I prayed somewhat regularly, though I longed for a deeper passion for prayer and a belief in it's power. I had grown a bit apathetic and weary.
Along came Jubliee. How can you know of a dear friend going through something so unfathomable and NOT pray with a passion and sincere pleading of your heart?

I Chronicles

 ²⁰ They were helped in fighting them, and God delivered the Hagrites and all their allies into their hands, because they cried out to him during the battle. He answered their prayers, because they trusted in him.

I remember one night seeing Brittany's sister post something like, "Praying for my sister". I panicked. I thought Brittany was in labor or something was happening. I texted her immediately & told her I was praying and asked if things were okay. She was fine, sitting at home with her dear hubby. She did ask me to pray for her to be able to sleep well that night, as her nights had been a bit rough. I prayed. Oh, how I prayed. I think I almost needed an answer to that prayer as much as she did. Guess what? The next day she texted to let me know that she had slept better than she had in months. Whoa. The Lord was listening as he always does, but what an answer, what an example of the power of prayer, what a lesson in intercession.

Genesis 25:21
Isaac prayed to the LORD on behalf of his wife, because she was childless. The LORD answered his prayer, and his wife Rebekah became pregnant.

Then came our trip to the Dominican Republic. The Lord has certainly placed the theme of prayer so evidently in front of me that I cannot deny it.  With each ministry leader that we met and learned from, we saw their emphasis on prayer in their lives and work. I felt the need to ask almost every single one of them, "How can we be praying for you?". I felt helpless to do anything else meaningful, but I had a new found passion for prayer, and that was something I knew I could do, and something I knew would have an effect!

 James 5:16
Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.

That's how it felt with Brittany, TJ & Jubliee. I was helpless. I wanted so badly, as I'm sure everyone did, to intervene; to offer some easy button for them to push- for a miracle. And when you can do nothing, when you are completely helpless to do anything in the physical realm, you can always pray.

Friends, there is power in prayer. Prayer changes things. I believe this with a passion, and you can trust that when I tell you I'm praying for you, I really am. Truly. I love this example from 2 Kings 20:

20 In those days Hezekiah became ill and was at the point of death. The prophet Isaiah son of Amoz went to him and said, “This is what the Lord says: Put your house in order, because you are going to die; you will not recover.”

² Hezekiah turned his face to the wall and prayed to the Lord, ³ “Remember, Lord, how I have walked before you faithfully and with wholehearted devotion and have done what is good in your eyes.” And Hezekiah wept bitterly.

⁴ Before Isaiah had left the middle court, the word of the Lord came to him: ⁵ “Go back and tell Hezekiah, the ruler of my people, ‘This is what the Lord, the God of your father David, says: I have heard your prayer and seen your tears; I will heal you. On the third day from now you will go up to the temple of the Lord. ⁶ I will add fifteen years to your life. And I will deliver you and this city from the hand of the king of Assyria. I will defend this city for my sake and for the sake of my servant David.’”

While there was intense heart-ache and grief watching Brittany & TJ walk this road, there is joy- joy in knowing that the Lord has indeed heard the prayers of his people and brought full and complete healing to Jubliee. There is no better place that she could be than in the arms of Jesus. And little Jubilee has impacted my faith and life, and I am so grateful. While I hope to never see another father have to carry his child's casket, or a mother have to carry a child she knows will not breath the air of this world, I know that God is faithful through it all. He is good. He is Sovereign. He is faithful and loving. He is a God who listens to our prayers and moves in response to them. Thank you, Lord Jesus.

I'm not creative.

All of my blog posts should just be titled "updates". That's about what my blogging consists of. I'm not the most creative or witty person, and I actually hate writing. I often wonder why I even bother! Anyhow, this is another 'update' post. :)

HOPE: We had our Ken O Sha evaluation last week with Hope. She certainly qualifies, which is great! KOS has a modified summer schedule where they take three weeks off, two weeks on. Unfortunately, last Friday started their 3 weeks off, so we have to wait until mid-June to begin with her. Her weekly routine will include an hour long in home speech therapy session and an hour and a half long playdate at KOS. The two women who came to evaluate Hope were just smitten by her & said she's a smart cookie, so they don't expect it will take long for her to catch on. It will throw a little curve into our weekly routine, which is a bit chaotic to start with, but it'll be good.

QUIMBY is SOLD. I don't know how it's taken me so long to post something about it. Oh goodness. I have such a mixture of emotions about it: gratitude for the numerous people who have helped us through the process - both of fixing it up & selling it; immense joy at the relief of being done; amazing humility at the amount of debt that has been forgiven (talk about a tangible example of the gospel...sins forgiven, debt payed, etc); frustration at the way things had to go; fear about adding one more bill to our stack that is too high to reach each month to pay off the 7k we still owe; wondering if I should regret that we bought it or that we ever moved into the parsonage; thinking back on the memories of coming home on our wedding night to our home, bringing Isaac home from the hospital, meeting and ministering to neighbors, doing endless projects to make it truly ours, and so many more; thinking back on the pain and feelings of violation when it was trashed and we had to dump thousands of dollars and our weekends for 6 months to fix it; failure that we couldn't make it work/afford another option...

I don't feel a 'huge relief' like I thought I would. Perhaps because we now have monthly payments that still tie me to it. I do feel like a significant chapter in our lives has been finished, however. I feel a sense of moving on, moving forward. The Lord has certainly used this to teach me innumerable lessons. I honestly think that if I enjoyed writing and was decent at it, I could write a book of all that Jesus has shown me through this 4 year ordeal. Maybe someday I'll write more about it. Or make Marc...he's the English major in the family!

PARSONAGE: Kerri moved out almost 2 weeks ago. It's weird. It's kind of amazing to live with one of your best friends AND your family. It's still amazing to live with my family, but I miss her being present. :) It's going to be another transition this weekend as Young moves out. It will be just our family of 4 (5) in this big ole' place! We'll be moving bedrooms around this summer in preparation for baby and hopefully just
re-organizing and de-cluttering. I'm reclaiming space, people, and not to fill it up with more junk.

We've placed an ad with Calvin Seminary to see if there is anyone out there who might want to live in the lower level. We could use the extra cash, but more than that, we want to use this huge house for more than ourselves. It's bigger than we need or want. GRCHS has already contacted us about a student for next year, but we are thinking a break might be nice, especially since Marc's job is dealing with international students all day long. We'll see what God has in store for us and this house!

BABY: Um, yup, baby is growing! I am 18 weeks and have my Ultra Sound scheduled for Monday, June 11th in the afternoon. Yes, we will be telling people what it is this time! I have no feelings either way of the gender, though I think I'll be more shocked if it's a boy. We have a boy name picked already, so I'm sure it will be a girl :) I'm still dealing with some heartburn and headaches, but I am so grateful to have relatively uneventful pregnancies. I have too many friends and family with losses, infertility, horrible pregnancy symptoms, and other complications that I don't take my feeling well lightly. I truly am grateful and count it all God's grace and hope that I can bless others when they are dealing with all the tough aspects of TTC/pregnancy.

Isaac is SOOOO excited about this baby. :)