On Being a Mom

* I only have three pair of pants that fit me 6 months postpartum. My nursing bras don't really fit that well & are severely uncomfortable. My muffin top has become more of a cake top. Stretch marks cover more of my body than not. Three kids and four pregnancies have left their marks all over. Your genuine compliments of my appearance last me months. For real.

* I haven't slept an uninterrupted eight hours of sleep in who knows how long. Comments about looking tired, while they may be completely true, are not helpful. Rude comments heard on perpetually little sleep are not a good combo. On the outside, I'll probably laugh and agree, but inside I'm rolling my eyes and maybe even punching something. And while we're at it, comments like, "You've sure got your hands full" will result in the same inner reaction.

* I love offers for help. When I get over the initial, "crap, i'm doing soo poorly as a parent it's obvious I need help" thought, I really want your help! But don't assume you know what type of help is most helpful. A friend mentioned that she would rather get meals when she starts back to work after maternity leave, rather than the weeks following delivery. Who knew? Nobody. Cause they didn't ask. Please ask instead of assume, so that your help is truly the best use of your time and most beneficial.

* I want to hang out with my friends without kids (mine, theirs our both) present. I do. But sometimes, it's just so much stinking work. There's lining up a sitter if the hubby isn't available. Then there is picking up the house for the sitter, because my house is a disaster pretty much all the time. And yes, when you see it, that's what I call "clean". There's pumping and getting bottles ready. Thers's finding a cute enough outfit that hids the rolls and isn't a sweatshirt. There's actually having to care about my appearance. Sometimes, hanging out in sweats on the couch with ice cream after the kids have gone to bed is the best plan ever.

* My kids have a lot of crap. I love the thoughtfullness and generosity of friends and family who bring over random surprises for my kids, but at some point it has to be enough. Instead of material things, give them your time. Read them a book. Take them outside and play soccer. Go on a kid-date with them. Play a game. Have them help you with a project. I don't want to perpetuate a materialistic, entitled attitude in my children. If you do bring a goodie, make is a perishable, usable one. My dad brings a sucker for each kid almost every time he comes over. It's simple, it's appreciated, it's gone after a few minutes and doesn't take over my toyroom.

* I make mistakes. I'm not perfect. But please let me parent my own child. At McDonalds the other day, I was reminding Hope that she needed to eat all of her nuggets before she could have the coveted happy meal toy. There was a woman trying to talk with me, admiring my kids and trying to act like "grandma". She butted in and told Hope she just needed to take "a little nibble" instead of eat the whole thing. I'm sorry - who are you? And what gives you any authority over my kid? Let me do the parenting, please.

* I'm not a pinterest mom, and that's okay. While I love looking & pinning ideas, I don't really follow through on most of what I pin. I feed my kids junk sometimes. We buy valentines from the store. Birthday party decorations come from the Dollar Tree and the cakes from Sam's Club. We've been stuck in a "lets make cards with stamps and stickers" craft rut for about 2 years now. I bought almost everything to make resurrection eggs over 2 years ago & still haven't done them. Sometimes it's hard  not to feel bad about my lack of 'pinteresty' activities for and with my kids. But my life, my time, my kids, my ministry and my gifts are different from other moms. And it's okay.

* I love to talk about my kids. I'll tell you all about the latest adorable thing Hope said, or Isaac's latest accomplishment at school or how Geneva is starting to growl (seriously, she growls like a dog...no idea what's going on there). I'm also very happy to not talk about my kids. Engage me in converstaion about my dreams, my passions, my church, my community. Let me hear about yours, too. Inspire me with YOUR dreams and passions. Let's dream together, pray together, or just sit in silence. That's not something I get often. And it says something about our relationship if we can sit comfortably in silence together.

* Sometimes I don't know how to answer the question, "How many children do you have?". Four pregnancies. Three children. Somedays I don't even think about the one we lost. Other times I am reminded. I'm willing to talk about it. And I'm willing to listen. I know too many women in my life who have had 1, 2, or even 3 miscarraiges. I have friends who have carried littles ones they knew they would not have the chance to meet this side of heaven. I have friends who said hello and goodbye to babies way too early. I have friends who long with all of their heart to be pregnant, carry a little one, and be a mama. While sometimes I take my role as a mother for granted, or sometimes  complain, get overwhelmed or wish for a break, I really do understand the amazing gift of motherhood and the incredible blessing it is to be 'mommy' to Isaac, Hope, Geneva, and baby D.

These are some of my random thoughts after some friends and I had a book study this morning on the book, "Desperate" by Sarah Mae and Sally Clarkson. I'm sure I'll add to it as I have more time to think (and actually finish the book ;)

What are your thoughts on being a mom? I'd love to add some to the list.