Baby Driesenga should be making his or her appearance sometime between September 3 and September 9! My official doctor due date is 9/3, but according to the ultrasound, it is 9/9. We'll be using the 9/3 one to stay on the same dates as the doc, but I won't be surprised if I'm still pregnant well past that date! That puts me at 12 weeks tomorrow.
It's a whole different set of emotions with this pregnancy. Having experienced a loss in October, I have much more anxiety and fear this time. I don't feel like I've let myself get nearly as excited or really even attach myself to this life inside me yet. I think/hope that will change after today. I had my 2nd doc visit, and we were able to hear the heartbeat pumping away at 154/minute. We had an ultrasound at the 8 week appointment and were able to get a glimpse of our little one. I have now passed the point in my pregnancy when I miscarried last time (almost 11 weeks), so that was a huge milestone. I think it will seem a bit more real now that we're telling people and can share the excitement.
The other emotion with sharing this news is remembering my baby who did not make it, and also being mindful of other friends who have had losses recently. I remember after my miscarraige, it was really difficult to see blog posts or facebook status' about people's pregnancy progress. It put me right into grief mode again and while I wanted to feel happy for them, I was jealous and angry and confused. I realize that with my news, I may be causing others to feel those same emotions, and I wish I could prevent that with all my heart. I don't want to make it more difficult for others. I also realize that I wouldn't have wanted someone to not share their news because of what I had been through.
So, to my friends who have experienced a loss, and particularly my friend Sara, who is due in only a month, and already knows her little one will only live a matter of minutes or perhaps hours, I share my joy with you, but also grieve for the little ones who we will not get to share a lifetime of joy with.
Around Christmas, we sang the song "Away in a Manger". While I think the line " The cattle are lowing, The poor Baby wakes, But little Lord Jesus, No crying He makes" is a bunch of bull, another verse does touch my heart and bring me comfort. It brought tears to my eyes the first time we sang this during Advent, as I thought of my unnamed little one being cared for by Jesus.
Be near me, Lord Jesus,
I ask Thee to stay
Close by me forever
And love me I pray
Bless all the dear children
In Thy tender care
And take us to heaven
To live with Thee there
May we all feel the Lord near and remember his tender care for us, his children.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Monday, February 8, 2010
Friday, February 5, 2010
Today is a good day!
I'm in a very positive mood today. Not sure where it came from, but feeling good.
* We've lined up a camper for a week this summer. In the last 24 hours we've decided to camp in May or June in Virginia. This is all, of course, pending Quimby being rented or sold so that our finances are back on track. But, I'm staying confident in God's faithfulness to us and praying that it will happen soon. Has anyone vacationed in VA? We are thinking of staying at a KOA in Willimasburg & taking in some historical sites as well as maybe a beach day (or two?) and busch gardens. I'm pretty excited about this!
* My basement is clean, laundry & dishes are going, Isaac is napping and I just finished dusting. Getting ready for our superbowl party on Sunday night for the youth group. Not that they care if I have a clean and dusted house, but it's good motivation for me!
* Just got off the phone with Tim Kim, who is coming to stay with us for 3 or 4 days in about a month! Yay!
* Showing Quimby to a girl today or maybe tomorrow and feeling really confident about her. Not sure why, but feeling like she's the one.
* Showing Quimby to maybe 3 or 4 people tomorrow to rent. It's also being listed through Greenridge on Monday.
* Hoping to pull the rest of our tax info together this weekend so we can ship it off to our guy. So thankful to have someone doing it this year. With everything going on with Quimby, it's a bit to complicated for me & turbo tax to figure out.
* Decided not to take a class this semester. Marc is taking 16 credits and is not going to be able to be home as much as last semester, which means I will need to be home more. 4 hours a week of class + homework doesn't sound doable to me right now. Hey, it's taken me 8 years to get this far in my degree, what's a few more!
* This week has been really good for my prayer/devotional life. I feel as though my prayers have become more genuine and honest and I'm longing to read Scripture more than I have in a long time. God & I are reconnecting & it's really good.
* Can't wait to finish up the work at Quimby tomorrow & take pictures for you all to see! I wish I had taken more 'before' pictures so you could really see the difference.
* Bowling tomorrow night & hoping Marc and I can go out for dinner beforehand. I need to reconnect with my husband. Saturdays are truly our only day together, and those have been taken up with Quimby since October. Can't wait to have that time back!
* We've lined up a camper for a week this summer. In the last 24 hours we've decided to camp in May or June in Virginia. This is all, of course, pending Quimby being rented or sold so that our finances are back on track. But, I'm staying confident in God's faithfulness to us and praying that it will happen soon. Has anyone vacationed in VA? We are thinking of staying at a KOA in Willimasburg & taking in some historical sites as well as maybe a beach day (or two?) and busch gardens. I'm pretty excited about this!
* My basement is clean, laundry & dishes are going, Isaac is napping and I just finished dusting. Getting ready for our superbowl party on Sunday night for the youth group. Not that they care if I have a clean and dusted house, but it's good motivation for me!
* Just got off the phone with Tim Kim, who is coming to stay with us for 3 or 4 days in about a month! Yay!
* Showing Quimby to a girl today or maybe tomorrow and feeling really confident about her. Not sure why, but feeling like she's the one.
* Showing Quimby to maybe 3 or 4 people tomorrow to rent. It's also being listed through Greenridge on Monday.
* Hoping to pull the rest of our tax info together this weekend so we can ship it off to our guy. So thankful to have someone doing it this year. With everything going on with Quimby, it's a bit to complicated for me & turbo tax to figure out.
* Decided not to take a class this semester. Marc is taking 16 credits and is not going to be able to be home as much as last semester, which means I will need to be home more. 4 hours a week of class + homework doesn't sound doable to me right now. Hey, it's taken me 8 years to get this far in my degree, what's a few more!
* This week has been really good for my prayer/devotional life. I feel as though my prayers have become more genuine and honest and I'm longing to read Scripture more than I have in a long time. God & I are reconnecting & it's really good.
* Can't wait to finish up the work at Quimby tomorrow & take pictures for you all to see! I wish I had taken more 'before' pictures so you could really see the difference.
* Bowling tomorrow night & hoping Marc and I can go out for dinner beforehand. I need to reconnect with my husband. Saturdays are truly our only day together, and those have been taken up with Quimby since October. Can't wait to have that time back!
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Save the Date - next December
I'm letting you all know really early, like 11 months early, that assuming we make it through the craziness of the next year, we're having a HUGE celebration when Marc is done with school next December. I need to keep that light at the end of the tunnel in sight!!
For now, Marc is laying on the couch after throwing up all day, exhausted from being sick and his crazy schedule, and I am trying to finish up a little work for the day (yes, at close to midnight!). God has been so faithful to us and I am very blessed, but I find myself getting jealous of my friends and they're lives a lot lately. Thus, the light at the end of the tunnel is my focus, which I hope and pray will lead to more of what we need for our family. I don't want to focus so much on the future that I don't live each and every day fully though. How do you find that balance between the two? Hmm. Thoughts for another night, perhaps.
For now, Marc is laying on the couch after throwing up all day, exhausted from being sick and his crazy schedule, and I am trying to finish up a little work for the day (yes, at close to midnight!). God has been so faithful to us and I am very blessed, but I find myself getting jealous of my friends and they're lives a lot lately. Thus, the light at the end of the tunnel is my focus, which I hope and pray will lead to more of what we need for our family. I don't want to focus so much on the future that I don't live each and every day fully though. How do you find that balance between the two? Hmm. Thoughts for another night, perhaps.
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