This is a post-Christmas blog, though a bit later than I intended. I've been mulling over some thoughts that at first merely annoyed me, and since have become in my mind only symptoms of a larger and more perverse problem with the church.
Christmas morning we walk up the stairs into the church to be greeted by an elder. We shake hands and he looks down at Isaac and says, "So, did you get any presents yet? What did you get?". A simply question. A fitting question as it was Christmas day & Christmas = presents in our culture. I was slightly annoyed at the time. What if Marc and I had chosen to not give presents this year? Or what if we didn't have money to? How would a 4 year old feel and then respond if they hadn't gotten any presents?
Now, as I've been thinking about it for a few weeks, it almost angers me. Perhaps I'm over thinking things. I probably am. However, we were entering church to celebrate CHRIST and his birth. We are bringing our child in to worship with us to hear about the baby Jesus born to us.
Do we want to, in the church, reinforce the cultural ideas of Christmas that its all about presents and getting crap? NO! So why is "Have you gotten any presents yet?" the first question asked when I enter church on Christmas day? Why not a question like, "Isaac, how are you celebrating Jesus birthday today?" or "Merry Christmas Isaac! Jesus is the best Christmas present of all, isn't he?".
It reminds me of an article that circulated on facebook a few months back about how we always compliment little girls on their clothes, hair and general appearance, rather than their mind and intellect. It's the subtle questions we ask or compliments we give that are in all actuality, probably doing more harm than good.
I realize the elder didn't have all these thoughts in mind as he asked Isaac the question. I was grateful he stooped down to talk to Isaac and greet him. He was trying to include my 4 year old, and I am thankful. I just wish we would all - the church included - would be more intentional about the questions we ask and what the message is that underlies the question.
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6 comments:
The same elder ask Ali the same question, and it also caught my attention and bothered me. It's the same thing that happened to me at Meijer, and it's not a comfortable place to be in. How do we teach our kids that gift receiving (or even giving) isn't what Christmas is all about, while everyone else in our culture is focusing so much on the gifts? Glad we've got each other...and a great support group to help, but it'll be an uphill battle for years to come!
Wow, interesting comment indeed! I would've had the same response as you, Gretchen. We struggle with how to balance this all as well. We can do our best here at home, but we struggle with how to communicate this to grandparents who LOVE to go hog wild with the gift-giving....Christmas at home is about Jesus, Christmas at G&G's is about presents. How to balance it all.
I feel like this Christmas there were many great blog posts circulating online about simplifying/reclaiming Christmas. All of them really got me thinking deeply about this, too.
Sorry ladies but I guess I just don't get as upset about things like that. That is what this life is about and it will always be that way! Of course we celebrate Jesus birth on Christmas but we also give people gifts. I love giving people gifts and what a better day to do it on but Christmas! I will always remember first that Jesus was born! The elder had no idea when he said that, that he was saying the wrong thing! He was just being an elder. I probably said the same thing to Isaac so I guess you should be mad at me too. Sorry I just had to vent!
Jane - It's okay that we disagree :) Thanks for sharing your opinion! I'm not mad at the elder (or you). And I agree that giving gifts is great fun & I love that part too! Isaac is just at such an impressionable age, that I want to make sure he knows it's not all about presents, but about Jesus. We're older and understand that already, but he's still learning, and I want to do whatever I can to help him learn what's truly important.
Jane - thanks for sharing! I think what bothered me about it, wasn't the question itself, but the fact that it was the only question that he asked. no "merry Christmas" or anything else. and the fact that it was in church when we had spent the drive talking all about how that particular day is one of the best in our year because it's set aside only for Jesus. the gifts are great -- in fact, i too am a gift giver at heart. i love to give them! and we should celebrate that we receive the best gift in Jesus at Christmas. it was just the manner in which it was done.
Jane - you need to comment more on blog posts :) You make it much more interesting! :) Love yoU!!
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